A couple of months back, I took Betty to the shop for a rehab. Like her mother, she had been through a hurricane and came out still intact, but scarred. And a little moldy. I totally ignored the smirk on the I'm-twenty-years-old-and-fast-as-hell-with-a-super-cool-new-bike-with-big-boy-tires-and-aero-bars snarky little kid who graciously told me he'd clean her up and all that. He slapped on a speedometer and asked me what kind of tape I wanted on the handlebars.
Betty Bianchi was purchased 9 years ago when I first started doing sprint triathlons. I named her Betty because she was bright orange with a sassy Italian attitude to match. She reminded me of my even earlier Skater Betty years that were marked with asymmetrical haircuts and lots of heavy sighing. 11 years ago she was hot, new and top of the line. Today she is a middle-aged woman in need of a boob job.
I don't mind riding her - I take pride in the fact that she's been through everything with me. I didn't have Mr. Fabulous change the bike seat because I don't know what's new for the tush. My shoes work just fine, thank you very much. I told him to put on pink tape not because I wanted pink tape on my bike, but because I wanted to watch him grimace while wrapping the bars with hospital pink tape tape that blatantely clashes with Betty's orange body.
That part I do regret.
But now I want to give her some lovin'. She and her mother deserve some pampering. I'm not giving her up for a more aerodynamic new bike because I'm still never going to win first place and those 2 minutes I might gain just don't encourage me to be disloyal to my girl. Does she need aero bars? Yes. Could she stand some fancy new tires that look like giant frisbees? Yes.
But does she totally rock my world and make me feel like a female Lance Armstrong?
Hell, yes.
My 9 year old bike. These fabulous Michael Kors shoes that border on hooker-height high. Homemade chocolate chip cookies. My youngest child calling waffles "fafflees".
These things also rock my world. Someone else is going to disagree. Someone else always disagrees and it's usually my husband. Whatever.
Disagree all you want, but they make me feel like a hottie. A MILF with old tires.
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Let's see a photo of Betty. I love old Bianchis. Italians make the sexiest bikes, hands down. Orange with pink tape sounds eve hotter. Strut your orange self, Betty.
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